


In My Blood

by J_Hwang



Series: Song Inspired [1]
Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 07:40:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21352633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Hwang/pseuds/J_Hwang
Summary: Inspired by Shawn Mendes - In My Blood
Series: Song Inspired [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550344
Kudos: 13





	In My Blood

** _ Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in _ **

** _ Sometimes I feel like giving up _ **

** _ But I just can’t _ **

** _ It isn’t in my blood _ **

Born in a rich family, her parents and families always expect her to be perfect in everything. Studies, sports, performances, they force her to learn everything, from piano, violin, sports, to ballet. But she never really wanted it, she is tired of it. But as much as she wanted to run away from it, she can’t. Because she doesn’t want to disappoint her families.

She was never close to her family because they favor her brother more since he will be the next of kin. But even though they favor her brother more, it doesn’t mean they will stop forcing her to be perfect that it became part of her. By the end of the day, each time she makes a mistake, she will end up feeling insecure and anxious about it. 

She feels helpless, trapped inside the wall that she built around herself. As she grows up, she wants to break out, she wants to leave everything behind, but she can’t. She wants to give up on everything, but she knows that she needs to keeps on fighting through it, through all those darkness, towards the light. 

When she turned 23, she has her breakdown. She starts to rebel, to oppose her family's will. She is fighting through the walls around her. There where everything turned. Families told her she was a shame to the family, friends that she thought will be there for her, all turned their back to her, calling her names. And again, she was left all alone. 

** _ Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing _ **

** _ I’m overwhelmed and insecure, give me something _ **

** _ I could take to ease my mind slowly _ **

** _ Just have a drink and you’ll feel better _ **

** _ Just take her home and you’ll feel better _ **

** _ Keep telling me that it gets better _ **

** _ Does it ever? _ **

She lays down on the bathroom floor, holding a knife on her right hands and blood on her left. She felt nothing, no pain, nothing. She moves out from her home, rent an apartment and live by herself. She works under her father because that’s the least she can do to live. She needs the money, so she holds the pain and accept reality. 

No one in that whole company knew that she is the daughter of their CEO. She was so sad when she first found out about it. This means that her father never told anyone that there is a daughter exist in his family. She is still that nobody, even after years.

“Kim Bora! Office! Now!” Her brother called for her.

Everyone around just snickered.  _ ‘Her again’  _ they whispered. She was known as the troublemaker, she always comes late, and her dress code wasn’t those that fit for the company. But she couldn’t care less. This is not what she wants after all, besides, there is something she wants to hide too.

Same thing happens, she got called into the office, got told off, got scold, and being called useless. She is numb to it by now. She will just ignore it, and let them say what they wanted to say. 

Bora will go to the bar or sometimes club at night to try to drink her problem away. But, no, she never feels better. She will bring home random girls sometimes, but no, that also didn’t make her feel any better. She is still lonely and empty. 

** _ Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in _ **

** _ Sometimes I feel like giving up _ **

** _ No medicine is strong enough _ **

** _ Someone help me _ **

** _ I’m crawling in my skin _ **

** _ Sometimes I feel like giving up _ **

** _ But I just can’t _ **

** _ It isn’t in my blood _ **

Years passed by, she turned 27 this years, still the same old her, the girl with anxiety and insecurity and still bound under the pressure of her unhealthy family. She still works under her father and brother, still the same position, and still the well-known troublemaker. 

There’s a lot of time when she feels like giving up, the slit and scars on her hands are the proof. Pills scattering around her, but none is strong enough to kill her. She is numbed by those pain, she felt nothing. 

She is desperate for someone. Someone that will accept her and love her as she is, but with her fucked-up life, who will? 

She lives in the same circle for years. Awake in the morning, went to the office, and then hit the bar or club to drink her problem away, and also bringing some girl home when she feels like it. 

But now, she needs someone, someone that will stay by her side no matter what. Someone that will love her, accept her for who she is. 

So she keeps on searching, and she found that someone. 

Lee Yubin, that’s her name. She found Bora one night, wasted near her apartment. She brings her to her apartment and took care of her for the night. She found out that Yubin is 3 years younger than her, and she works as a mechanics, owning a garage when they talk the next morning. 

It’s funny how 2 strangers can get that close in just a few days. The two of them start to hang out with each other since that night after they exchanged numbers. And because of her too Bora now stops going to bar or club. Yubin told her to stop, and so she did.

** _ I’m looking through my phone again, feeling anxious _ **

** _ Afraid to be alone again, I hate this _ **

** _ I’m trying to find a way to chill, can’t breathe _ **

** _ Is there somebody who could _ **

The two of them got so close to each other over the year. Yubin also introduce Bora to her friends and co-workers. They love having Bora around, and Bora feels like she can finally be herself when she is with Yubin. 

But, reality is a bitch sometimes. Her father found out about her relationship with Yubin. They threatened her to end it there and stop meeting with the girl. But why does she need to listen to that? So she rebels, she fights back, saying that she won’t leave her, she won’t stop seeing her. And *slap* for the first time in her life, her father slaps her. He never got physical with her, only verbal. But this time he slapped her, so hard that she stumbles. 

“Either you leave that girl, or you leave this family!” Her father told her. 

And there she turned around, leaving the office, leaving the family that she wishes she never had ever since the very beginning. 

But as she leaves that day, Yubin also disappears from her life. She doesn’t know when, why and how. But Yubin somehow just gone. Her apartment is empty, her garage is closed. It was like she never existed since the very beginning. 

And so she went back to the anxious and insecure her once again. This time around she locks herself away from everyone she knows. Yubin’s friends try to reach out for her, but she blocks them away. She locks herself inside her apartment, not wanting to leave. Staring at her phone, hoping that there will be either a call or a text from Yubin. 

** _ Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in _ **

** _ Sometimes I feel like giving up _ **

** _ But I just can’t _ **

** _ I need somebody now _ **

She locked herself for days, weeks, and eventually months past. Her families? No one cares anyway. But Yubin’s friends, they got worried. They try to reach out for her but failed. She just doesn’t want to open up. 

Until one evening, her phone rang. *Lee Yubin* The name light up on her phone, so she picks it up right away. 

“Hello…” comes the voice from the other side of the phone. 

She tried to answer, but she can’t. Voice can’t seem to find their way out from her mouth. So she got frustrated, she starts to throws stuff around. She tried to scream but nothing comes out. She has locked herself for too long and didn’t speak for too long that she is unable to do so. 

Yubin on the other side heard all the commotion, she starts to get even more worried by the older girl’s condition. She tried to comfort her, calls her, but Bora was far from the phone to heard that. So she let her and waited for her to calm down.

When Bora finally calms down, she once again walks to her phone, and there she realizes that the phone was still on, and Yubin was still there on the other side. So she tried again, to open her mouth and speak.

“Hello…” She voices out a very hoarse hello, soft and hoarse, but enough for Yubin to heard that. 

Yubin smile on the other side, and hello, she said again. She asked how Bora is, but she also knows that the older wasn’t in her best condition. She can hear the older sobbing, and it ached her heart. She doesn’t mean to leave her like that, not when she knows that the older is unstable. But she needs to do what she needs to do. She has to clear everything and save the girl from her misery. 

“Open the door, Bora. I am outside” Yubin called the next day, and there she is, standing in front of Bora’s apartment. 

Bora went to open the door directly, and she throws her small body to Yubin’s. She hugs her so tight, afraid that she will disappear again if she let loose. And so Yubin held her as tight as possible too, telling her that she will not leave again this time. She will stay, protect her with all her might. 

Yubin keeps her word, she never left her since that day. She stays with her, helping her to recover, care for her, and give her the love that Bora is craving for. 

Bora found out later on that Yubin came from a very rich family, as rich as her own. Yubin found out about Bora’s situation, and she took the matter into her hand. You could say that it’s because she wants to take revenge because maybe that’s her reason. 

She asked her father, who also turned out to be one of Bora’s father’s business partner for help. She told her father everything about Bora, her father was furious and disappointed to say. He will not want to work with this kind of person, he said. And so he steps back and cuts off the partnership. Since his share there is big, The Kim’s got hit a lot from the lost, and eventually, everything went down, they suffer from bankrupt.  _ ‘Not that I care, if they can’t appreciate their daughter, why should I need to help them with their business.’  _ Her father said. 

She took Bora to her home one day, introduce her to her family, and sure enough, Yubin’s family love her. They said that Bora is a lovely girl, and her smile is beautiful, and Yubin can’t agree more. 

** _ It isn’t in my blood _ **

** _ I need somebody now _ **

** _ It isn’t in my blood _ **

With Yubin by her side, she found her comfort, her source of warmth. Yubin has saved her from the darkness, she pulls her out from the wall she built. And Bora can’t be more thankful. Not giving up is a good choice, because look at her now, finding her happiness, that she long for. 


End file.
